Weddings and Funerals

Weddings and funerals are probably the two biggest "events" in Libya. Streets are literally blocked off by huge tents and filled with chairs for people to sit in. So far I have been to 2 weddings (but have been invited to attend at least one every week) and a funeral. The amount of people that attend both is enormous (upwards of 1,000) and they both last for about a week (although people come over to your house to wish you congratulations or condolences for at least a month if not more). Attending weddings and funerals is often considered a "social obligation", especially if you have a connection to the family. People will remember who came and didn't and it could affect your social standing and reputation.

For weddings, in addition to the large tents outside the house, there usually are big, colorful street lights (looks like christmas lights). On the 3 or 4 main wedding days all the family going to the wedding leave together and the cars all honk, put their emergency blinkers on and travel to the wedding hall together (it's quite unique to see and I feel like it's the only time other cars on the road will give someone the right of way to keep the cars all together). There are special "wedding halls" for weddings, they basically are just huge rooms with a stage at the front. I don't particularly enjoy attending weddings, but once in a while I enjoy going to observe the women (only women attend the weddings, men have separate gatherings). Lots of women wear an obscene amount of make-up and I find it so ugly (they really look like clowns with face paint on...I am not meaning to be rude, but it is the best way to describe it), but they obviously find it attractive :) Some women attend weddings because they are looking to get married and want the mom's, aunt's, etc of the potential grooms to see them.

I have never been asked about marriage so often as here. After asking my religion it is usually the second topic of conversation that comes up. The questions are always some variation of "Are you married?", "When are you getting married?" "Will you have your wedding in Libya or America?" and are asked by all ages (including all of my students from elementary school to high school). One of my dad's friends saw me and exclaimed "You look like a bride!"...I got confused because I thought maybe he thought I was getting married, but I later realized it was just his way of saying I was all grown up.

As I mentioned, funerals are just as big as weddings although unfortunately not as joyous of an occasion. I had never been to a funeral in Libya before, so it was quite the experience for me. The Aunt of the principal at the Libyan school past away and since I have spent a lot of time with her in the past few weeks I went on the second day of the funeral (called Azah here). When someone passes away, the bodies are buried the day they die and only men attend the burial ceremony. After the burial there are 3 days of Azah, where everyone who knew the person comes to the house along with everyone who knows someone who knew the person who passed away (hence the need for the big tents to hold everyone). One of dad's cousins passed away while he was here and my dad told me that there were over a thousand people at the house. I don't think I really realized how many people that was until I went to the azah...I was in shock by the number of people that were there, definitely over one thousand (and I only saw the women). The "immediate" family (which is usually a few hundred at least) will continue going to the house for at least a week, and some even longer (months).

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There is a traveling ship that goes around the mediterranean (I think) that carries books on it. It just arrived yesterday in Benghazi and today I am going to see it, I am really excited because there are hardly any bookstores and nothing in English. This ship is supposed to be really big and most of the books are in English and I heard there are some in Spanish too!

One story that I was going to include in my last post, but forgot has to do with a mini-victory with make-up girl (from the European school). One day I let her sit in the hallway during her study period because I was tutoring the ESL students. When I went to check on her she was gone, I walked down the hall and found her in the Year 11 classroom (she is year 12) doing her make-up! I said "What are you doing in here??", she said "Miss, I am sorry I didn't mean for you catch me doing my make-up", Me "You are always doing your make-up! Get out of the year 11 room and go back to the table!". It had been a long and bad day with the students, so I was really frusterated with her. The next time I was at the school she came up to me after study period ended and said "Miss, did you notice I am not wearing any make-up today?", I said "No. You don't need make-up, you look very pretty without it". She said "Yeah, well I wanted to go with my natural look today because last week you said all I ever do is my make-up". I was shocked because she had actually listened to me and thought about what I had said. Of course, she is now back to doing her make-up all the time, but it was a mini-victory with her while it lasted. :)